I felt the cold sore coming on last Thursday. I'm more self-concious about my looks than I like to admit. God knows I shouldn't be but I'm human. My wife professes unconditional love and the rest of the world isn't that bothered about my appearance. Is vanity a human characteristic? Is it less than human? It certainly isn't the ideal human.
After a day feeling something protruding from my upper lip, I mention it to my wife and she says get some medication called "Silver Ex". "You put it on at the first sign of a cold sore," she says, automatically.
One of the weird things about living in a different country is that you have to learn the names of all the medications; nothing has the same name as the medication you used to take. Aspirin is now called Paracetamol. It's Rennie, not Pepto-Bismol. All those millions of dollars of television ads bought by big pharma in my youthful viewing years were wasted. They've had to start all over again with my drug indoctrination since I moved to the UK. I'm ill and ill-informed.
I'm part of the problem, I suppose. I listen to podcasts that don't have many ads, if any. I mostly watch the BBC so if I hear about a drug, it's because there's been tampering or some sort of recall, so I the only drugs I know the names of are the ones I want to avoid. Big Pharma has fallen behind the cold sore commercial curve during my UK experience.
I have a similar UK/US naming problem with hand tools but that's another blog.
So I forget to go to Boots the first day. I know about the developing cold sore and I'm aware of the existence of a chain of pharmacy stores named Boots, I just don't think of them both at the same time, despite the importance of "first sign" application.
It's not until Day 2 of Cold Sore Watch, killing time for my train a London Euston, that I think of "Silver Ex" and the Boots concurrently. I go in the Boots inside the station and walk around in search of the "Silver Ex", but I need sign posts and the only ones I see: "Oral "Hygiene", "Fragrance" and "Beauty", are too broad in definition. I look through some shelves that appear relevant but I don't see anything called "Silver Ex". Giving up, I ask cashier. "Do you have any Silver Ex?". "For cold sores?" It's busy in Boots and she's hesitant to leave the register. "Yeah, It's over there." and points to a shelf about five paces away. "I've looked and I can't find it." She pauses to estimate the cognitive ability on front of her: there are only two aisles in this Boots. I start breathing through my mouth and adopt a glazed look. Satisfied, he leads back to the aisle I came from. "Here's the tube of Zovirax and here's the Boots brand". My pronunciation was close enough but I never would have found it with that perceived spelling. She walks back behind the register and I buy the name brand; Because I'm worth it. Not all advertising is lost on me.
I catch the train, read the directions and apply a dab. I might have waited to get home but I just don't care if anyone on a train sees my top lip covered in cream. Selective vanity. I grab a Metro from the next seat and, NOT making this up, see a small poll on the top ten things people have missed because of a cold sore. What are the chances!?! Topping the poll: After work drinks. So it's not the end of the world, is it? Number 10 was "New Year's Eve party", which was odd. Either it happens a lot around that time of year or it's a memorable event disappointing to miss. Or the poll was taken in January, trauma fresh in one's mind. That's the problem with polls. They're useless without context. This poll was provided by company that started with a "C". Like "Celcius" or something. The smart money says the make cold sore medicine. That's clever marketing.
I could stop there except this Zovirax really works! I expected to have a huge sore hanging off my top lip, thankful that it would be at it's apex over the weekend. I was pleasantly surprised that the sore never came up, especially since I didn't take care of it right way. I've never had that good of a result with any cold sore medication before. I'm glad it took my wife's advice. I guess word of mouth really is the best advertising. Only next time I'll have her put it in writing.
